My whole life I have always felt the presence of God, and yet there are still times where I am just taken aback by how incredibly good He is to me, and how much He loves us. In all things we are asked to depend on him, and to allow him to "take the reins" so to say with the control in our lives. Of course in reality we really don't have any control over our lives, but we like to feel like we do; and we like to think that in some way or the other we can plan for our futures and make things happen for ourselves. Giving up my sense of control has always been a hard thing for me. I don't like change, I never have ever since I was a little girl, and if there was anything that I loved in my life I clung to it and wished for it to never ever change. Now looking back I can see how there have been so many whispers in my ear from God where he would just ask for me to give Him the control of my life, and to trust him. He makes everything perfect in His timing, and His plans are always better than our own, but how hard it is to trust him with our own plans and lives! Over the last month I made a conscious effort to give our situation with Kasey over to the Lord every single day. We know it is all happening for a reason, and we know it is all for God's great purpose which can be comforting but also very hard to grasp. Amidst everything we were told that men with testicular cancer usually are borderline infertile, and that if we were to have more children the time between the removal of the tumor and his lymph node removal surgery (2 weeks) was our window of opportunity, and that we should look into sperm banking and fertility treatments for the future. After a lot of discussion and prayer Kasey and I both felt that if the Lord wanted us to have more children, than He would certainly bless us, and that going through any fertility treatment just wasn't an option for us. We both felt that we needed to trust and just wait, and if it was the Lord's will than we would be content either way.
All of this being said, it is very early but we wanted to share that we just found out that I am pregnant, and we cannot be more thrilled. We feel so incredibly blessed and thankful, I cannot even tell you just how amazing this is for us. We had both consigned in our hearts that we might not be able to have more children, and that precious little Kenzie was always going to the baby for us, and now to think that she is going to be a "big sis" is so awesome!
I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God so that you may know that you have eternal life. This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him. 1 John 5:21
Thank you so much for your support and prayers throughout this journey with us, and throughout it all that has passed and what is yet to come, we are so happy to be reminded that if we just ask, he is good to answer.
Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant... Genesis 21:1-3
The Lord has been gracious to us, and we are so thankful!!