I must say that I am really looking forward to starting over a brand new year which means that 2009 will be left behind and another year will start fresh, with expectations and hopes for brighter and lighter circumstances in comparison. Overall looking back we have so much to be thankful for, and I know that the Lord has been with us the entire way paving out peace and answering our prayers in so many ways.
2009: We dealt with Kasey's cancer prognosis and 2 major surgeries and recoveries, and with God's grace he dodged chemotherapy and radiation. Every month he has 3 appointments to attend which will continue for the next 3 years which is a sobering reminder of how cancer is evil and could always be present. In the midst of Kasey's recoveries we suffered 2 miscarriages but discovered that we could trust in a promise of more children in our future. I realized this year that no matter what we go through, we are never truly alone, and when we ask for Him to show Himself, the Lord will make His presence known in ways we could never imagine. We learned that we have loving support of many friends and our families, and there is so much to be said about that. And even with some really hard experiences we had so many great laughs and new memories with our close friends and family. There is always something to laugh about, and Kasey can always find it for you! I love that even when we were hurting the most we were still able to laugh.
I have learned that I adore my husband even more than I did on the day of our wedding, and his strength and passion for our family is something that makes me so proud to be with him. We have loved watching little Kenzie grow and learn with her sparkly eyes and growing curls, and are reminded every day what a blessing babies are! The love we have for our children is such a testament to the love that our Father has for us, and I am blown away by that love every single day. With the year drawing to a close we look forward to another baby come late May, and are so thankful beyond words. After so many losses our hearts can look forward to another precious little one, and we can't wait to see Kenzie as a big sister. She has been the best little thing that has come into our lives, and she has brought so much joy with her sweet personality. I will always cherish how she radiates happiness that is infectious, and that is such a gift of the Spirit.
One of my favorite bands has been Barlow Girl for the last several years, and it seems like so much of their music speaks to my heart and helps me connect to God no matter what stage or circumstance I am going through in life. This year I have held on to a very special song which just sums it all up for my heart has felt this year, and I am just going to continue looking for that "Beautiful ending" that has been promised!!
Oh Tragedy has taken so many
Love lost cause they all forgot who you are
And it scares me to think that I would choose my life over You
Oh my selfish heart
divides me from You, it tears us apart,
So Tell me
What is our ending?
Will it be beautiful? So beautiful?
Will my life find me by your side?
Your love is beautiful, so beautiful.
Oh, how do I let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars and holds tears that fall?
And the pride of my heart makes me forget
It's not me but you
Who makes the heart beat, I'm lost without You
And You're dying for me
So tell me
What is our ending? Will it be beautiful? So beautiful?
Will my life find me by your side?
Your love is beautiful, so beautiful
At the end of it all...I want to be in Your arms
At the end of it all, I want to be in Your arms.